I got pregnant on our second try. After three months of nausea, I had a pretty fabulous pregnancy. Toward the end of it, my blood pressure rose and I had unexplained headaches so they delivered our son three weeks early. We had asked our families to come visit a few weeks later (when he was supposed to be due) so it was just my partner and I in the room with the doctor. The nurse came in to set up our son’s “station”, but other than her infrequent visits it was just the three of us. Soft music was on, the lights were dim and we were calm. After my sister’s delivery I had witnessed the year before with the Staying Alive soundtrack on and six of us in the room with her, my situation seemed unusual. It was quiet. It was sweet and very purposeful. Our son was born and he was pretty perfect. I was famished! I had my first Diet Coke in months and a turkey sandwich while being wheeled to the Mother/Baby Unit. We couldn’t have been happier.
Once in the other room, I was told to go to the bathroom frequently to help my uterus contract. Unfortunately, I kept passing out and bleeding profusely. I woke up to several nurses yelling my name and some yucky smelly stuff under my nose. I remember saying with an exacerbated tone, “WHAT?” What happened next was a blur. I was given more pitocin to cause contractions and some sort of pain medicine – then I tried to make myself disappear. We think they performed a D&C in the room although my records are spotty. Then I slept and slept. I had lost a great deal of blood and was pretty sick. I’ve asked my partner to write about this from her perspective, but even after five years – it’s still too close, too scary.
It took weeks to feel better and my milk really didn’t “come in.” I was a snack for our son for six weeks, but that was about it. He was fine and eventually so was I.
After a few years of wondering what really happened to me, I came across a foundation that the amazing Supermodel, Christy Turlington Burns, began. It’s called Every Mother Counts. In 2003, she also experienced Post Partum Hemorrhage (PPH) after the birth of her first daughter. Ah, so it did have a name and Christy Turlington and I have something in common! I love it. Like Christy, because of the wonderful care I received, I survived. It can, and often does, mean death for thousands of girls and women around the world. In fact, PPH is the leading cause of pregnancy-related death in the world, including in the US.
Christy wrote, “Once I learned that hundreds of thousands of women around the world were dying each year I needed to know why. And when I learned that almost 90% of these deaths are preventable I committed myself to doing all that I could to stop these senseless deaths.” Her foundation makes people aware of the condition and helps them do something positive with the awareness they now have.
As I grow with The Parenthood Journey, I learn new ways that we can support each other and support parents around the world. I hope you will join me in this journey.
Director of Programming and Membership at PHUMC
Partner to Candi and Mother to Miller who is 5
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